It came out of the blue, bowling a ball I just wasn’t expecting. The ninth of June , last Friday, was the anniversary of when I got engaged. I normally am not affected by it greatly however this year was different. I sensed the black dog coming and gosh wasn’t he a powerful beast. I had to keep up a front and try business as usual, but it was hard. I can’t seem to shake him off.
Yesterday Thursday l was taken out for lunch by my sister in law and her husband . Here is a photo of the beautiful blue sea there-
We met to catch up and for me to collect family photos ( from my late mother in law’s) for our family. I was able to share a bit of how I felt and how it seems to have been one thing after another currently. They were supportive . In turn I offered a listening ear too. The photos lie waiting on the dining room table, now , for me, is not the time to take a deep dive .
I don’t quite know why I am posting this , it seems self indulgent. I guess l feel it might help in some way. I have been trying to lose weight but comfort eating, trying to walk more but my left foot’s collapse seems to hinder this and I have been trying to wrestle the black dog! Any I shall pick myself up, brush myself off and attempt to move on…
The black dog is a cunning beast, and catches one when one is least expecting it. I hope you pull through this trough quickly, and remember your wargaming friends are here to help and always happy to lend an ear.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're at a low point and trust the mood will lift soon. The hobby can be a great distraction or escape. The dog is not a friend but nevertheless is born out of love and loss. The love is something good that was once in your life and you wouldn't wish it otherwise so though the feeling is not a good feeling it does have a positive origin. Think of that positive more than of its loss. It may help. I hope and pray it does.
ReplyDeleteall the best
Stephen
Not self indulgent at all. Sharing and marking / observing all this is one of the benefits of having a blogging community (especially for men and bloggers scattered all over the country). Best wishes and hope the black dog is soon banished to a suitable distance ...
ReplyDeleteNot forgetting on Sunday it is Father’s Day to look forward to, when you can expect the yearly tribute of good things thoughtfully chosen ...
DeleteIt can be the smallest thing which triggers our emotions and the feelings connected with them so I wouldn't feel ashamed. We have little control over the neurotransmitters and can only control how we deal with what results.
ReplyDeleteDo something you enjoy as a distraction; the hard part is starting.
Neil
A lovely view of the seaside, hopefully that, plus your in laws, helped improve your mood a bit. I don't even know if I could say when I got engaged...it was late Dec 1987, I think....but could not name the exact date...might have been the thirtieth....at least I got married on Guy Fawkes 1988, so won't ever forget that date!
ReplyDeleteTradgardmastare,
ReplyDeleteOne of the strategies I was advised to use to combat visits from the ‘black dog’ was to write about it … and it works. Is it self-indulgent? Of course not! The only people who ever say or think that are those who are lucky enough ever to have had a visit.
Spending quality time with your family and/or friends also helps, as does getting outside and into the sun. As far as I can see, you’ve done all the right things to help see the ‘black dog’ off … and I hope that he’ll soon be gone.
All the best,
Bob
I'm with Mark, 'listening' and thus in a vague way, lightening the load a tiny bit, is one of the things friends are for.
ReplyDeleteIt is not 'self indulgent'. A problem shared is a problem halved as we used to say, and you are among friends here! Be well as soon as you can be.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your feeling better soon , I think 'talking/writing' about things helps so not self indulgent at all.
ReplyDeleteThat dog's a bugger. Take pleasure in the things and memories that bring you joy and deal with the others when the time and energy is right and absolutely share and talk... the good old manly Scottish tradition of dealing with stuff in silence is a curse
ReplyDeleteHi, I don't comment very often, perhaps a couple of times over the past few years. But I read everyone of your posts. I find them entertaining, warm, full of love for your family and the wargaming stuff is pretty good too. Keep your chin up and keep writing about anything and everything. Richard
ReplyDeleteNot a thing I suffer from thankfully but I know plenty of folk who do, not a pleasant thing to encounter. Your post was far from self indulgent and I think it is good to get it out there and share your thoughts. Looking forward to seeing more of your work when you are ready, always a joy this blog, I check it out every day.
ReplyDeleteJust caught up with this. So sorry that I'm not around to help but will be back soon. Really good advice here and I hope that it's some comfort to know how much you mean to us all.
ReplyDeleteRonnie
I absolutely agree with what has been said; getting it out of your system and sharing does help. Suffering in silence is unhealthy and makes it much worse. Hope you come out the other side of the current bout quickly. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone for their support, most welcome and most helpful!
ReplyDeleteCheers
Alan Tradgardland